


Dust of Broken Hearts

by blackglass, sabinelagrande



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Amnesia, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Community: pod_together, F/M, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 30-45 Minutes, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-06-29 06:39:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19824601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackglass/pseuds/blackglass, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: Percy is not quite himself, or at least not quite the current version.[Podfic AND story text within]





	Dust of Broken Hearts

  
  
Cover art by: [Frea_O](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Frea_O)  


**Right click and save as:**  
[mp3 w/ music (LQ)](http://blackglass.parakaproductions.com/podfic/dust%20of%20broken%20hearts.mp3) | [mp3 w/ music (HQ)](http://blackglass.parakaproductions.com/podfic/dust%20of%20broken%20hearts%20\(hq\).mp3)  
[mp3 w/o music (LQ)](http://blackglass.parakaproductions.com/podfic/dust%20of%20broken%20hearts%20\(no%20music\).mp3) | [mp3 w/o music (HQ)](http://blackglass.parakaproductions.com/podfic/dust%20of%20broken%20hearts%20\(no%20music%20hq\).mp3)  


****

****

It's an average sort of day. Vex has done some training drills with newer members of her corps of foresters, while Trinket napped in the sun. Percy has been inside, resting to try to get rid of the headache that's been plaguing him, while Grog, Scanlan, and Pike, visiting for the week, do some light babysitting. Vex comes back in just before noon; they're using the castle, since there's more room for guests than at Vex's home, and she goes to find Percy first. 

He's not in their rooms, so she goes to check the library. Percy, utterly predictable, is standing by the window, looking out on the garden. 

"Hello there, darling," Vex says, and he turns to look at her. "What's wrong?" she says immediately, seeing his face, and Percy doesn't answer. 

Instead of waiting, she walks over and kisses him, brief but sweet. She's about to ask if he's feeling well, but before she can, she notices that his face has gone bright red.

"Why, Percival," she says, grinning. "I didn't know I could still make you blush like that."

Percy swallows, and the grin slips off of Vex's face at the look on Percy's. "Where is Lady Johanna?" he says stiffly.

"Here, Daddy!" a little voice says, and their daughter flings her arms around his legs. Percy looks down, confusion on his face.

"As soft a tread as her uncle," Vex says, stroking a hand over Johanna's hair. It should be an idyllic scene, their little family all together, but the way Percy is acting is ruining the effect a bit. "Dear, are you alright?"

Percy steps away from the two of them. "I'd like to speak with Lady Johanna," he says. "Now."

"What's wrong with Daddy?" Johanna asks fearfully.

Vex crouches down, pushing back Johanna's thick brown hair. "Go find Aunt Pike, dearest," she says gently. "Tell her to come quickly." 

Johanna looks back at her father, then scurries out. Percy watches her go with a frown on his face, like he's suspicious of something.

"Talk," Vex says flatly.

"Excuse me?" Percy says, arching an eyebrow at her. "Who are you to speak to me like that in my own castle?"

"Your wife," Vex says, arching hers right back.

"I'm afraid you're quite mistaken," Percy says. "I'm sure Julius has given you quite a lot of coin for this little show, but I don't find it diverting." He takes in the way Vex has stepped away from him, her hand over her mouth. He rolls his eyes. "What now?"

"Percival, I need you to answer me honestly," she says. "Do you genuinely believe that your mother is here? Or that your brother is-"

"My brother is what?" he says. "Tiresome? Certainly. And I don't know where else my mother would be."

"Fuck," she says.

"Enough of this," Percy snaps. "If you're not going to make yourself useful, then get out."

"You need to calm down," Vex says. "Just wait a moment, darling. Pike will be here soon, and I'm sure everything will be fine."

"You heard what I said," he says, crossing his arms. "I'm not going to be ordered about by-"

"Percy? Vex?" Pike calls, hightailing it into the room with her mace and shield. "What's wrong?"

"Pike," Vex sighs in relief.

"I left Johanna with Scanlan and Grog," Pike says, a little out of breath. "I didn't know what was happening, but I figured it was safer."

"That's best," Vex says.

"Who are any of you people and why do you presume to have free rein of my castle?" Percy says, exasperated.

"That's what's wrong," Vex says. "He keeps asking for Johanna. The elder."

Pike looks grave. "It's going to be okay," she says. "Before things get out of hand, let me try a restoration spell."

"Please do," Vex says.

"Is anyone going to ask for my opinion?" Percy says.

"If you resist, I'm going to have a goliath sit on you," Vex says. She'll be glad when the spell works, because Percy is already being a bit of a prick. "I dare you to try me."

Percy rolls his eyes, holding out his arm to Pike. "Be quick about it."

Pike puts her mace and shield aside, taking Percy's hand into hers. She grips her holy symbol in her other hand; she shuts her eyes, concentrating, and it begins to glow faintly. She frowns, clutching it tighter. "I can't," she says, and the holy symbol loses its light. She reluctantly lets Percy's hand go. "I don't know what's wrong."

"I am owed some explanations," Percy says.

"I think we have some questions first," Vex says.

"Did you eat anything unusual?" Pike asks. "Drink from an unfamiliar cup? Take a potion?"

"Of course not," Percy says. "I was here in the library, minding my own business, and all this started happening."

Vex frowns, a thought occurring to her. "Where were you before the library?"

"I was in the-" Percy starts, but he stops. "I must have come from the-" He sighs. "Alright. Now I am concerned."

"What were you a minute ago?" Vex asks snidely.

"Just have a seat," Pike says, ignoring Vex's jab, and Percy lets her guide him onto the couch. "It looks like you have amnesia, okay? You've had it before. I don't know why I can't fix it, but I'm going to figure it out. But for right now, I'm going to ask you a few things, so that we can have a baseline. Is that alright?"

"I suppose," Percy says warily.

"How many siblings do you have?" Pike asks.

"Six," Percy says.

"And you live here with all of them and your parents?" Pike says.

"Correct," Percy says.

"Do you know the name Briarwood?" Pike asks gingerly.

"As in Sylas and Delilah?" Percy says. "They're preparing for some business dealings with my parents. I suspect the details aren't germane right now."

Vex raises her fist to her lips, not looking at Pike or Percy. She counts to ten slowly, once in every language she knows. She's certain Pike is trying to get her attention, but she can't afford to have the meltdown she'd really like to be having right now.

"I have a question of my own," Percy says. "How old am I? As far as you all are concerned, I mean."

"Twenty-eight," Vex manages to say, though she doesn't look at him. "We have been married for four years. Our daughter is named Johanna, and she is three."

"So you're telling me that I'm missing nearly ten years," Percy says.

"That's what it looks like," Pike says. 

"Will you please tell me why no one will get my mother?" Percy asks.

There is a deathly silence; Vex doesn't dare open her mouth for fear of what might come out of it.

"You had a long ten years," Pike says finally. Vex squeezes her eyes shut. "Do you really want me to tell you everything, knowing that you might remember anyway, or do you want to leave it for now?"

"I already have the distinct sense that it's all bad news, or you would have told me by now," Percy says. 

"It's not all bad news," Pike says. "You're very happily married, with a cute kiddo."

"I see," Percy says, sounding skeptical, and it is a miracle that Vex doesn't punch him in the face.

"I'm going to get a healer in here to check you over," Pike says, which makes Vex frown. She doesn't know why Pike's not going to do it herself, but she doesn't object. "Just sit tight."

"Fine," Percy says huffily, and Pike ushers Vex out.

"I'm a little confused," Vex says.

"I'm a lot confused," Pike replies, "but if you're asking why I'm not in there checking him out, it's because I'm trying to stall for time while we come up with a plan."

"Smart," Vex says, and she follows Pike, who's already heading down the hall.

They arrive at the sitting room where Grog is trying to entertain Johanna, while Scanlan picks out a cheery tune on a lute. Johanna looks mostly alright, and Vex hopes that all of this is going over her head.

"Dearheart," Vex says, taking Johanna's hand. "You're going to go off with your nanny for a while, is that alright? I'll come check on you soon."

"Okay," Johanna says. "Is Daddy okay?"

"He'll be fine," Vex says, though she feels like her heart is being ripped from her chest. Percy has rigged the house with bells, and Vex pulls the correct one; none of them say anything as Johanna's nanny appears and whisks her away.

"Fuck me running," Vex sighs.

"What the hell happened?" Scanlan asks warily.

"Percy has amnesia," Pike says, preemptively adding, "Not in a funny way. He thinks his family is alive."

"Ouch," Scanlan says.

"You can handle it," Grog says encouragingly. "A little restoration and he'll be fine."

"I tried," Pike says, and Grog deflates.

Vex is quietly trying not to have a panic attack, so she doesn't say anything.

"So the first thing we should do is reconstruct Percy's day," Pike says. "If we can figure out where he went and who he saw, we can find out if he ingested something or got cursed."

"We saw him at breakfast," Grog says. "That was at eight, cause it was too early."

"Right," Scanlan says. "He was bitching about having a headache, so he went back to his room."

"I saw him there before I left," Vex says; thinking about this logically is making it easier to deal with it. "That was at nine-thirty."

"So we have two and a half hours unaccounted for," Pike says. "If we can just figure out what happened during that time, we'll be okay."

"You know better than us who would have seen him," Grog says to Vex.

Vex thinks for a moment. "Let's split up," she says. "Pike, if you and Grog can look in our rooms for anything unusual, Scanlan and I will question the staff."

"What are we looking for?" Grog asks.

"I think I know," Pike says. "Empty potion bottles and herbs. If someone gave him something to take, I might be able to tell what it is."

"The bottles in the chest at the bottom of the wardrobe are unrelated," Vex says shiftily.

"I am so disappointed I'm not going to rummage through your stuff," Scanlan says.

"Did you think I wanted you with me for your skills of persuasion?" Vex asks.

"No," Scanlan says. "But let's go talk to some people anyway."

Word travels quickly in the castle, but Vex can't just not make inquiries. She and Scanlan try to keep things discreet, but it doesn't work particularly well. All they can do is build a timeline, and if that means people get suspicious, they're just going to have to be.

They discover this much: Percy went to breakfast. Percy went to his rooms. He called for coffee a little after ten. He called for coffee again a little after eleven. No one saw him leave the castle, and no one saw him enter.

It takes them all afternoon to find this much out, and it is incredibly disheartening.

Pike and Grog are similarly unsuccessful, and all of them have dinner to regroup. Nothing seems to help, a dour mood settling over them. Vex makes her plans to contact Keyleth in the morning; she doesn't know if she can be any help, but she certainly can't hurt.

Percy, the one who is still here, spends his afternoon in the library, pointedly ignoring everyone and, after a while, throwing anyone out who tries to help him. He has dinner brought to him there, so Vex doesn't see him again until bedtime.

And then they're standing in their rooms, alone. Vex has already seen to Johanna, putting her to bed with the best assurances she can possibly provide that Daddy is just sick and will be better before she knows it. Johanna seems fretful about it, but in that matter, she is her mother's daughter.

"What have you learned?" Percy asks.

"Don't you take that tone with me," Vex says, unable to stop herself. His sheer manner is enough to make her want to slap him, even though she's trying her best to be understanding and patient.

"I'll take the tone I want to take, thank you," Percy says. "So you've learned nothing."

"I've learned that you used to be a fucking prick," she says.

"Something so horrible happened to my family that no one will tell me what it is," he says. "You'll have to forgive me if I'm not feeling particularly sympathetic."

"Fucking come off it, Percival," she snaps. "The father of my children doesn't even know who I am, and it certainly seems like he doesn't give a shit either."

"You only have one child," he says.

Vex frowns, thrown. "What?"

"You said children," he says.

She sighs. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh," he says, and there's a long pause.

"We were hoping for twins," she says, like a peace offering.

"Like Whitney and Oliver?" Percy asks.

"Like me and my brother," Vex says.

"Two sets are twice as lucky," he says.

There is another awkward, expectant silence. "You should know that we never fight," Vex says.

Percy frowns. "We don't?"

"I can count on one hand the number of times we've so much as argued," she tells him.

"I must be a very different person," he says.

"You are," she says readily. "If I could undo everything that happened to you, I would. But you wouldn't be the same person. You aren't."

"Then what am I?" he asks.

She snorts. "A stuck up rich shit, like all the ones who made my adolescence a waking nightmare."

"That was very evocative," Percy says. "But you're rich now."

"I earned every last goddamned gold piece," Vex says, like she always wants to say when things like that are said to her but never actually does. "The treasury has tripled since I took over."

"That can't be right," he says incredulously.

"I'm perfectly happy to show you the books," she says. "We married for love, but we also married for Whitestone."

"Well, I already knew I was going to do that," he says.

"I can't do this," Vex says, walking out. "Have a good night."

Percy makes no move to stop her.

Vex takes a moment to look in on Johanna, who is sleeping peacefully. Having done that, she leaves the castle entirely, walking down into the gardens, to the small wooden hut that stands there. It's more of a glorified gazebo than anything, but makes a nice little spot for one bear who likes to sleep outside on warm nights.

Said bear is dozing in the balmy air, and Vex walks over to him. He rouses when she scratches behind his ear. "Hello, dearest," she says quietly. "Would you mind a little company?"

Trinket gives her a sniff, followed by a lick, then settles back down. Vex sits next to him, pressing her cheek to his fur, now shot with white in places but still thick.

"Thank you," she says, and he makes an inquisitive noise. She waves her hands, casting a spell.

"You seem sad," Trinket says, and Vex's heart breaks again.

"Don't worry about me, my darling," she says, cuddling up next to him, and he shifts, curling himself around her.

"It's my job to worry about you," he says.

"What would you do if Papa forgot about us?" she says.

"Papa would never forget about us," he says, and if a bear could frown, he'd be doing it.

"But what if he did?" she says, feeling cold despite his warmth next to her.

"I'd remind him," he says.

"How?" she asks.

Trinket considers this. "Maybe if I bit him, he'd think harder about it."

Vex laughs, genuinely surprised. "Oh, my love," she says, stroking his fur. "I don't want you to bite him, but I love the way you think."

"Just a nip," he says. "It won't hurt bad, and you can heal him."

"I'll consider it," she says. She doesn't sleep, but she does feel comforted.

It's morning before anything breaks. She puts two guards on her rooms, quarantining Percy, then meets up with Scanlan, Pike, and Grog for breakfast. Before she's hardly sat down, one of Percy's riflemen comes in, looking frightened.

"Yes?" Vex says imperiously, because she finds it useful when Percy's riflemen are afraid of her.

"I have information for you, my lady," he says, nervous. 

"And?" Vex says, arching an eyebrow.

"I saw Lord Percival leave yesterday," he says. "He gave me a gold piece not to tell anyone where he was going."

"Where was he was going?" she asks. He looks hesitant. "You will not like it if you don't tell me the truth."

"To Zelur's Apothecary," he says.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Vex says.

"And we're upset about an apothecary, why?" Scanlan asks.

"You're dismissed," Vex says to the rifleman, and he scurries away. "We're upset because Zelur sells snake oil, but Percy is impressed with his rudimentary tinkering." She can see it all before her: Percy with his headache, not wanting to bother anyone, sneaking off to find a cure, because he thinks he knows better.

"I'll get my things, and we can go pay him a visit," Pike says.

"Oh, no," Vex says. She motions to one of the guards. "He's coming here, if he knows what's good for him."

An hour later, they're in the castle's throne room; no one ever uses it, but Vex is going to do some almighty throwing around of her weight. Scanlan, Grog, and Pike are stationed around the room, while Cassandra, having been apprised of the situation and made nearly as angry as Vex, stands at her elbow.

Zelur is short for an elf, and Vex wonders if he even actually is one. That's how he presents himself, but the appeal to ancient wisdom that some elves trade on is very popular and easily faked.

"Good ladies," Zelur says, bowing deeply. "How can a humble purveyor of potions-"

"You can take your potions and shove them up your ass," Vex says.

Zelur looks nonplussed. "Have I offended you in some way, my lady?"

"Lord Percival went to your shop yesterday," Cassandra says. "You will tell us why and what you gave him."

"Ah, but confidentiality dictates-" Zelur starts.

Grog cracks his knuckles.

"He came to me in search of a cure," Zelur says quickly. "I gave him the Special Blend 150. Cures all heartache and encourages respiratory health."

"Wait," Vex says. "He had a headache."

"That's Special Blend 46," Zelur says. "Of course, there may have been a miscommunication."

"A powder that cures heartache," Pike says, frowning. "Why does that sound familiar?"

"Certain other purveyors have had similar substances," Zelur says cagily. "The dust of broken hearts, some have called it."

Scanlan laces his hands together, stretching arms out before pulling them back and waggling his fingers. "I _wish_ I knew what that was." 

Scanlan's head lolls back, his eyes going stark white. There is a purple flash, and he straightens again.

"Kicks like a mule every time," he says. "But this guy is dangerous and you might want to run him out of town."

"What did you find out?" Vex asks.

"Dust of broken hearts is a cursed item," Scanlan says. "It makes the person who takes it forget about their heartache by carving out the time since it happened."

"I would never-" Zelur stammers.

"Shut the fuck up," Grog says, and Zelur takes a step backwards. "So it reset Percy to before his parents died."

"And I couldn't break the curse," Pike says, sounding defeated.

"One more thing," Scanlan says. He grabs Zelur by the shirt and pulls him down to his level, staring him hard in the eyes. "You never heard anything about what happened to Lord Percival. Lady Vex'ahlia called you to the castle to tell you she knows that you've been fleecing people and to tell you you're going to be arrested unless you leave quietly. Now get the fuck out of here."

Zelur looks dazed, but he wanders out of the throne room, and hopefully straight out of Whitestone.

"There's one more thing I can try," Pike says. "It's a long shot, but if I can just pull it off, I think we can make things right."

"I'll try anything," Vex says.

"Are you going to give Percy a choice in the matter?" Scanlan asks.

"Absolutely not," Vex says.

"That's what I thought," he replies. "I didn't say I disagreed."

Percy is brought out by his guards. "Is all this really necessary?" he asks, as he's brought to Vex's side.

"Yes," Vex says. 

"Whatever," Percy says, and Vex hates how young he sounds.

"Follow me, if you know what's good for you," she says, and she doesn't turn back to see if he's coming.

There's a chapel on the grounds of the castle; it was consecrated to the Dawnfather many years ago, but there hasn't been a particularly prayerful de Rolo to use it in a long time.

Percy looks annoyed just walking into it, and it takes all of Vex's resolve not to snap something about Percy acting irreligious in the space of her divine patron. At least her Percy fakes it better when he's asked to go into a temple.

"Over there, please, Percy," Pike says, indicating an empty area to the right of the altar. Percy steps into it without protesting, even though he has his arms crossed and looks like he's going to tap his foot at any moment.

Vex sinks into a pew, trying to calm herself. This is it; this is everything. If nothing happens right now, nothing is going to be fixed. Percy will stay like this forever, and what will she do? Will she ever come to love Percy as he was, when he was nothing that she wanted? Will he try to do the admirable thing and maintain his commitment to her, even though he didn't really make it? Is that even what she wants?

She has no idea. She just wants this to work, not least so that she doesn't have to think about it anymore.

It seems like Pike should be making some preparations, even though Vex knows it doesn't really work like that for her. All she does is kneel before the altar, taking her holy symbol and clasping it between her hands.

"Everlight, please help me," she says, bowing her head and closing her eyes.

Nothing happens, no noise, no movement. Vex is certain it hasn't worked, and she tries to reach out to the Dawnfather, praying desperately. She feels nothing at all, and it takes everything in her not to be horrifically disappointed.

There is nothing at all in the temple but the noise of breath, and a tear makes its way down Vex's cheek. She notices then that Pike's lips are moving, even though she's not saying anything. Vex can't read them, the words in some language she doesn't know.

There is a sound of rushing wind, and a figure suddenly appears above them, hovering in the air and emanating a brilliant golden light. It's not Sarenrae herself, but the same kind of servant Vex saw when they were repairing Greyskull Keep after the Conclave attacked. 

Vex's heart beats so fast that it's painful.

"My faithful Pike," the angel says, and though its form is different, its voice is the same as the Everlight's. "Why do you turn to me now?"

"Percy is lost," Pike says. "A poison took away his memories, and it's beyond my power to bring them back."

"Oh, my beloved Champion," She says. The angel opens its arms. "My power is your power."

Pike's clasped hands shoot upwards, and a wave of white-hot light cascades out from them. It moves like a wall of force, hitting Percy at full strength; he's blown backwards, landing hard against the wall of the temple. 

Vex goes to him without even thinking about it, vaulting over the rail in front of her pew and rushing to his side. She drops to her knees, holding Percy to her, stroking his hair. "Darling, please," she says. "Please."

"I am always here with you," the angel says. "I will be there every time you need my aid."

"Thank you," Pike says, her voice thick, and the angel disappears, leaving behind only a scent like honey and the faintest sound of bells.

"Vex," Percy says, and Vex knows instantly that it's him, the real Percy, her Percy. He reaches up shakily and wipes the tears from her cheeks. "Are you alright?"

She laughs, but it sounds like a sob. "I should be asking you that."

"I think I have a concussion from hitting that wall," Percy says. "But otherwise, I'm fine."

"Do you remember what happened?" Pike asks, joining them.

"I would rather not, but I do," Percy says. "I'm afraid I was frightfully rude."

"You were," Vex says, though it's not important at all in the face of having him back.

"You made me a better person," he says. "All of you. I was a disaster when I was younger." He shakes his head. "I never wanted you to know the person who I was."

"He could have been worse," Vex says, which is technically possible.

"I want to speak to Johanna," he says. "She'll be worried sick."

Vex helps him up, and Pike touches his hand, holding her holy symbol. "Just in case you do have a concussion," she says.

"Come on, darling," Vex says, linking her hand with Percy's.

Johanna is in her room, just next door to Vex and Percy's. Percy made her a toy of ribbons and wooden tablets, and she's watching it move, tilting it back and forth. She looks troubled, at least for a three-year-old, not able to muster her usual enthusiasm.

"Dearest," Percy says from the doorway, and Johanna looks up, a wide smile dawning on her face.

"Daddy!" she shrieks, running over and hugging him tightly. "You're all better!"

Percy hefts her into his arms, settling her on his hip. "Now how do you know that, darling?" Vex asks.

"He looks happy again," Johanna says.

Percy sighs. "I must admit that I wasn't happy before," he says.

"Put it out of your mind," Vex says, running a hand over his hair.

"With pleasure," Percy says, and this is how they should be. It should be like this, together despite everything that has gone before; this is what they have earned, a respite after battles, with monsters and with themselves. Percy still has aches in his heart, to be sure, just as Vex does, but he's never been happier- truly happier- than he is now.

Johanna puts her head on her father's shoulder, her mother's hand on her back, and the bad times slip a little farther into the past.

**Author's Note:**

>  **blackglass:** Thanks to sabinelagrande for always being willing to indulge me in creating content for my favorite pairing! I had a lot of fun performing this story and playing around with sound effects! Also, thanks to Frea_O for creating the cover art!
> 
> Music: "Amnesia" by Justin Timberlake
> 
> Sound effects credits: [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPwxqy11MrI)


End file.
